


Fever Dreams

by sekiharatae



Category: Rurouni Kenshin
Genre: Drama, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1998-07-27
Updated: 1998-08-26
Packaged: 2017-10-12 12:33:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/124861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sekiharatae/pseuds/sekiharatae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sick and delirious with fever, Kenshin confuses present with past.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Fever

"...kuso!" Sano cursed as his sneezing caused him to spill his tea.

 _It certainly wasn't the brightest thing they've ever done,_ Kaoru thought.

"Achoo!" Although he managed to keep his tea in his cup, Yahiko's sneezing was no less violent than Sano's had been.

 _Sweet? Yes. Generous? Yes. But bright?_

"O-ro! O-ro!"

 _Definitely not._ Kaoru shook her head at the three shivering, sneezing, miserable males seated around the table in the dojo's living area. All three were rapidly developing fantastic head colds... it wasn't going to be fun baby-sitting them until they were well. She toyed briefly with the idea of sending Sanosuke home, leaving her with only Kenshin and Yahiko to care for. _And at least Kenshin won't be difficult,_ she thought, glancing at the red-headed rurouni as he succumbed to another fit of sneezing.

"O-ro! O-ro! O-o-o-ro!"

"Kuso... Kenshin, can't you even sneeze like a normal person?" Sano grumbled, voice already distorted from coughing.

"O-ro-ro!" Kenshin sneezed in response.

Sano laughed weakly and then hunched deeper into his blanket as the laughter started him coughing.

 _No,_ Kaoru thought as she pounded him on the back, _it's better if he stays here. If he gets worse in the night he'll need someone with him._ Ignoring the fierce look Sano threw at her for the beating she'd been giving him, she turned to Kenshin and the two worried little girls huddled on either side of him.

"Ayame-chan? Suzume-chan?"

They turned frightened eyes to her. "Kaoru-neesan," Suzume asked in a loud whisper, "are they going to die?" Kaoru saw the laughter in Kenshin's tired eyes and had to fight to keep from smiling herself.

"No, Suzume-chan. They're going to be fine. But I need you and your sister to fetch Megumi-san, all right?" Suzume had already begun nodding vigorously. "Good. Tell her that these three idiots jumped in the river. And," Kaoru continued, raising her voice slightly to be heard over the protests of Sano and Yahiko, "ask her to come help me take care of them."

"Why'd you have to do that, you old hag?" Yahiko complained as Ayame-chan and Suzume-chan hurried off on their errand. "We didn't jump in the river."

"He's right," Sano chimed in. "We didn't jump in the river. We fell in the river... and the last thing I need right now is for the Fox Lady to come harass me about it."

"All right, so you _fell_ in the river," Kaoru replied calmly, gathering up the tea things. "And in the middle of winter no less." She shook her head. "You can tell her yourself when Megumi-san gets here. Because you do need her help." Stepping out of the room she added one final comment over her shoulder. "By the way, Yahiko... I'll get you for calling me a hag. Just as soon as you're feeling better."

"Hag," Yahiko muttered defiantly, once Kaoru was out of earshot.

"This is all your fault, Kenshin," Sano groused.

"How was I supposed to know the ice would break?" Kenshin protested in a tired voice. "I was just trying to help the obaasan."

Sano grumbled a bit under his breath at that, but he couldn't really argue. _Kenshin never asked me to help him in the first place,_ he thought _, ...and it was probably the extra weight that caused the ice to break._

The room lapsed back into silence as they waited for Megumi to arrive, each of them privately dreading the acid comments she was sure to make about their cumulative intelligence. If there was one thing Megumi couldn't stand, it was someone becoming ill through his own stupidity. As her friends - who should therefore know better - they were really in for an earful. Her sarcastic laughter echoing in their minds, they heaved identical sighs of resignation.

Megumi arrived shortly, and as expected had much to say about idiots dunking themselves in ice-cold water in the middle of the winter. Sano of course protested that they had not done so intentionally, which only made Megumi laugh.

 _The Fox Lady and the Raccoon Girl are in complete agreement,_ Sano thought grumpily. _It doesn't matter_ how _we ended up soaked, it only matters that we_ did. A moment later he was forced to admit, at least to himself, that he was being a little harsh. Kaoru had at least admitted that they were sweet to help the old lady. He looked sourly at Megumi. _The Fox Lady, on the other hand..._

After checking each of them over, Megumi diagnosed them all as having nothing more dangerous than severe head colds. She gave Kaoru strict instructions - interspersed with bouts of name calling with Sano - to keep her patients in bed. "Make sure they get lots of fluids and lots of rest. And send for me if any of them gets worse."

* * *

As Kaoru could have predicted, Sanosuke was the worst patient out of the three. He ran her ragged during the first day of his convalescence, shouting for tea, pillows, blankets... anything and everything that would force her to scamper to keep up. She was sure he was doing it simply to be annoying. In exasperation she sent Ayame-chan for Megumi, and let Sano try his demands on her.

Megumi arrived just as Sanosuke bellowed for more tea. She calmly took the steaming kettle, prepared a fresh cup, and watched as Sano attempted to drink the nearly scalding offering. Yahiko, playing spectator from his futon on the other side of the room, laughed himself into a coughing fit at Sano's reaction. Megumi left half an hour later, a much-subdued Sanosuke in place of the termagant he'd been when she arrived. Sano wasn't sure which had been worse... the scalding his throat had received from the tea, or the upbraiding his ears had received from Megumi's tongue. _"Kaoru-chan's doing her best and your stupid, childish demands aren't helping!"_ she'd said, among other things. Her final threat echoed in his mind as Kaoru brought dinner in that night. _"Don't you dare complain about her cooking on top of everything else, or so help me I'll pour the tea someplace you'll_ really _regret next time, instead of handing it to you in a cup!"_ Glancing sidelong at Yahiko, Sano could tell that the Fox Lady's words were running through the boy's head as well. In absolute agreement, they accepted their meals graciously, and without complaint.

* * *

In direct contrast to Sanosuke, Yahiko surprised Kaoru with how well he behaved. As his symptoms progressed and a fever developed, he dropped his belligerent attitude and became only a sick little boy instead of the "Tokyo Samurai" he normally proclaimed himself to be. When she checked on him during the second night, she found him huddled miserably under his blankets, shivering with fever.

"Kaoru," he pleaded, "I'm so cold."

Heart softening at the adorable little boy he could be, she picked him up and cuddled him in her lap, rocking back and forth until he relaxed into sleep. He protested at first, of course, complaining that he didn't need mothering. But the rocking motion was comforting, and it was warm cuddled in her lap... and his tired body couldn't fight sleep long. "It'll be all right, Yahiko," she whispered, tucking him back into bed. "Everyone wants to be mothered when they're sick." Brushing his hair back from his forehead, she kissed him lightly before standing up.

"And _I'm_ not going to tell anyone," she added pointedly, looking across the room to where Sanosuke lay awake, knowing he'd seen and heard the whole thing.

"Easy, Jou-chan," Sano whispered in response. "I wouldn't want to hurt Yahiko's pride, either." Satisfied, Kaoru nodded, and then turned to leave. "Oi! Aren't you going to tuck me in, too?" He received his answer in the form of an expertly aimed pillow and the rasp of the door sliding closed. A moment later a few faint, angry exclamations marked her progress as she stomped back down the hall.

Sanosuke laughed a little to himself, having received the response he expected from his taunting. Tired or not, Jou-chan rarely lost her spirit. He looked across to where Yahiko still slept peacefully on the other side of the room, and secure that his comments would go unheard confided in the sleeping boy. "You know, Yahiko-chan, we couldn't ask for a better sister. My imouto, your oneechan... Kaoru takes good care of us both." He smiled again, remembering how fast she'd flung the pillow at him. "Oyasumi nasai, Jou-chan, " he whispered, before snuggling into his blankets and letting sleep claim him.

* * *

On the morning of the third day, Kaoru awoke to find that Kenshin was already up and about. He, of course, had been an angel of a patient. If Sanosuke had been even half as good... still, she hadn't expected Kenshin to recover so quickly. Megumi-san had said it could take anywhere from three days to a week, and as slowly as the other two were progressing, Kaoru had been sure it would be a few more days before any of them were well enough to get out of bed. Yet here was Kenshin, doing the laundry...

"Ohayou, Kenshin," she greeted him, causing him to start a little at the unexpected sound. She frowned a little at that _...unexpected? Kenshin?_

"Ohayou," he responded, smiling at her. "I'll make breakfast as soon as I finish these, all right?" She nodded absently, still watching his face. "Is there something wrong?"

"What? I mean, no. I mean, are you sure you should be out of bed?" Kaoru stuttered through her thoughts, trying to figure out what about him seemed... wrong.

"Daijoubu, daijoubu!" he laughed, turning back to the laundry.

 _He certainly seems like his old self,_ Kaoru thought. _And his symptoms seem to be gone... he's not sneezing or coughing..._ "Well, if you're sure... I'll go check on Yahiko and Sanosuke." At his nod, she left him to the laundry, moving back into the house.

Kenshin relaxed after she'd left. Something was definitely wrong. His muscles ached, and he was wracked with periodic chills, as if fighting off an illness to which he couldn't remember falling prey. But infinitely more disturbing was the fact that he couldn't remember the name of the girl who'd just greeted him good morning. His own responses had come more from habit than any conscious intent... It was a routine they went through every morning, familiar and comfortable... but one he didn't actually remember. _She says "Good morning, Kenshin" and then you say "Good morning-"_ and then the rhythm had stuttered to a stop as he'd struggled to remember her name.

He'd awakened that morning to surroundings both familiar and not, with a single thought hammering through his brain: _Don't let her worry._ There was someone important nearby, and she shouldn't be allowed to worry over him. _Don't let her worry, don't let her worry._ The thought had forced him out of bed, although another, calmer part advised that he should stay put. _Don't let her worry, don't let her worry._ A pair of blue eyes filled with tears, and a soft voice scolding him, _Kenshin... you shouldn't make me worry..._ trickled through his memory and spurred him on, coaxing his weary limbs down the corridors to the well to take up a task soaked in familiarity.

 _Why can't I remember her name?_ When she'd appeared in the courtyard, some part of him registered that she was the person in his memory. Why, then, couldn't he remember her name?

* * *

Kaoru had almost reached Yahiko's room, which he and Sanosuke were currently sharing, when it hit her. _He didn't say my name, not once._ He always greeted her by name. It was part of their daily routine. He almost always addressed her by name when she asked him a question... but this morning, he hadn't. _And he was slow to turn and look at me... as if hiding something._ Kaoru walked quietly back to the courtyard, where she stood and watched the rurouni for awhile. _His motions are slow,_ she thought, _and he doesn't seem to know I'm here. Something is wrong._

She walked towards him, not bothering to hide her presence, each step increasing her worry as he failed to notice her. "Kenshin..." she began, reaching out to lay a gentle hand on his shoulder.

Kenshin moaned aloud as her slight touch sent pain lancing through his aching muscles. He heard her gasp in shock, unaware she was more frightened by his temperature than the pained sound he'd just made. "Kenshin..." he heard her say again, this time her voice laden with tears. He blinked, trying to focus over the sudden pain her touch had brought, and then looked down into her beautiful blue eyes.

"I'm sorry..." again, he sought and failed to find her name. "I'm sorry," he repeated. "Please, don't be worried. I didn't want to worry you..." _You're babbling_ , some portion of his mind seemed to say, _that's only going to frighten her_. At a loss, his words stumbled to a stop, and he simply stood watching her, wavering a little on unsteady feet. Her hands braced his shoulders as she scanned his face, and then she slowly closed her eyes.

"Kenshin... baka..." she whispered, and he blinked in fuzzy surprise. She opened her eyes again and smiled reassuringly at him. "It's all right. I'm not worried." _Liar!_ Her mind screamedin response. Megumi had warned her that something like this could happen if a fever ran too high. _Oh god, how could I have neglected Kenshin?_ She asked herself. That he was out here because some portion of his mind insisted he not worry her... She wanted to weep at her stupidity, knowing whence that particular concern stemmed. How many times had she scolded him for something, stating that he'd worried her? She gave herself a mental shake. _Take care of Kenshin now, cry about this later._ She felt him relax at her words. "But you have to come back inside now, all right? You have to go back to bed." He hesitated. "If you don't... If you don't, it'll make me worry." To her relief and horror, he agreed.

Pulling his arm around her shoulders, she began leading him back to the house. They'd only made it halfway when she felt him slip from her grasp as he collapsed. "Kenshin!" Kneeling beside him she shook him, but got no response other than a faint moan. "Kenshin! Please!" The panic she'd been fighting since she'd first touched him finally over took her, and jumping to her feet she whirled and ran inside, screaming for Sanosuke's help.


	2. Delirium

Voices carried to him through a layer of fog. His eyes too heavy to open, he sought instead to fit faces to the voices from memory.

"Oi, Fox Lady, what's wrong with him?" That deep rumble belonged to a dark haired street fighter.

"Megumi?" This one to a young boy... maybe 10 years old... with spiky hair.

"Quiet. Everyone be quiet so I can examine Ken-san." Sly and flirtatious, though filled with concern, this voice belonged to a tall woman with dark hair and sad eyes. "Kaoru-chan," her voice came again, "I need some soft cloths and some cool water."

"Hai." This voice was quiet, subdued, and so sad. It didn't match the laughing, raven-haired girl in his memory at all. As with the others, he couldn't fit a name to the memory, but this time the lack was unbearable. He knew her name... it was etched on his heart. He struggled, fighting the first stirrings of panic, somehow appalled at his inability to remember such a simple fact.

"Sanosuke," the other woman said, "Help me get his clothes off. The compresses need to be against his skin."

"Aa." The street fighter again, agreeing with the sly voiced woman. A moment later he was wracked with chills as his blankets were abruptly removed. He curled into a ball reflexively, attempting to preserve as much heat as he could. Strong, icy hands caught his shoulders and he cried out at the pain they unintentionally inflicted. He heard the slight hiss as the other man sucked in air in surprise. "Kuso... Kenshin..."

"Sanosuke." The sly voiced woman again. There was a pause, as if she was waiting for some sort of acknowledgment. Her voice was sympathetic when it came again. "He'll be all right, once we get the fever down. Trust me."

Kenshin felt a surge of unreasoning resentment as the hands returned, and he fought as this "Sanosuke" sought to remove his kimono. Pain forgotten in the adrenaline surge, he shoved the other man away, his eyes finally coming open as he growled a warning.

Sano lost his balance and fell, surprised at Kenshin's sudden strength. From his prone position he looked up to find Kenshin standing, eyes glinting crazily.

"Don't... don't touch me." Kenshin fought to get his breathing under control, his head throbbing in reaction to the sudden exertion. As quickly as it had come, the anger was gone, leaving him weak and trembling as he swayed unsteadily on his feet. The room twisted dizzily around him and he closed his eyes, seeking to center himself.

Sanosuke watched as Kenshin gradually brought himself under control, climbing to his feet only when the rurouni appeared stable enough to allow it. Sensing Sano's movement, Kenshin's eyes sprang open, his nerves once again on edge.

* * *

Kaoru slowed as she approached Kenshin's room, puzzled by the strange silence. She entered to find Kenshin on his feet and breathing heavily, right hand clenching and unclenching slowly as he warned Sano, Yahiko and Megumi away with his glare.

"Megumi-san... what..." she began, stopping when Kenshin's gaze shifted to her.

 _I know her._ Kenshin thought in relief. The others, though at first familiar, had slipped from his memory's grasp even as he struggled to pull the vague images closer. People who one moment seemed to be friends became strangers with his next breath. But this girl... her image threaded through his memory like sunlight, bright and unwavering. "Kenshin?" She asked hesitantly.

He closed his eyes and drew in a long, slow breath. When he opened them again, the crazed gleam had disappeared, replaced with soft, violet confusion. "I..." He swallowed, and tried again. "I don't know them," he said, gesturing carefully at the other three occupants of the room. Her eyes widened in shock. "But you... I recognize you." He took another deep breath. "Please... what's wrong with me?"

"Me... Megumi-san?" Her voice thin and frightened, his anchor turned to the other woman for guidance.

"It's all right, Kaoru-chan," Megumi responded, moving to take the items she'd requested from Kaoru's grasp. "He trusts you," she whispered as she gently pried Kaoru's fingers away from the bowl of tepid water. "Talk to him. Explain what's going on, and that we're trying to help."

"Ha… Hai." Kaoru responded, watching Kenshin over Megumi's shoulder. His eyes had narrowed when Megumi approached, and he continued to eye her suspiciously as she talked to Kaoru. _Does Megumi-san realize? How dangerous he is now? How-_ She cut herself off abruptly. Kenshin was still Kenshin. Releasing the bowl to Megumi's care, she brushed past the doctor and slowly walked towards him.

"Kenshin." His eyes, still trained on Megumi when Kaoru spoke, slowly shifted their focus to her, softening as they did so. "Kenshin... Megumi-san is a doctor." His eyes widened slightly at that, further indicating how much he'd forgotten. "She's come to help you, but you have to trust her." He opened his mouth, clearly intending to reject her request, and Kaoru gently covered his lips to stop him. His skin was frighteningly hot beneath her light touch. "Please. _Please._ Trust me if you won't trust her, but you have to let her help you." She hadn't realized she was so near to tears until she felt them spill down her cheeks as she begged him to listen to her. "Yahiko, Sanosuke, Megumi... they're all here to help you, but they can't if you won't let them. Onegai..."

 _She's crying. Because of me, she's crying._ He was so tired, so confused. His entire body seemed to ache as he fought to suppress the slight shudders that swept through it. What she was asking wasn't so very difficult. He trusted her... and she trusted the others. "All right," he finally whispered in agreement, reaching out to gently brush her tears away. "For you." She smiled shakily in response, closing her eyes briefly in relief.

"Ken-san." Reluctantly he raised his eyes to the doctor's face. "Arigato." She smiled at him, too, and he nodded once in acknowledgment, somehow relieved that the decision had been made. As the slight movement sent pain pounding through his head again, the doctor took charge, ordering the young man - Sanosuke - to help him back to his futon.

"Be careful," he heard the girl warn Sanosuke, her voice protective.

"Jou-chan," Sano scolded in return, his eyes telling her he understood but didn't need the reminder.

"Kaoru-chan." Kaoru turned to Megumi as Sanosuke took charge of Kenshin. "I need you to take these..." as she gave Kaoru a packet filled with dried chrysanthemum flowers, "and brew a pot of tea." Kaoru opened her mouth to object. "It doesn't matter whether you can cook or not. You can boil water, and this isn't going to taste terribly good anyway. Go."

Kenshin felt himself gently lifted and settled on something soft. As he relaxed into its comforting embrace, a cool hand brushed across his brow, then touched briefly at his neck. "His temperature hasn't changed," he heard the doctor say. "Sanosuke, please remove his shirt - gently this time." There was a non-committal grunt, and then someone began fussing with his clothing. Too tired to rouse himself to protest, he lay quietly until something icy was pressed against his forehead, followed by another against his throat. His eyes snapped open as his shivering instantly increased.

"Easy! Easy..." The doctor put a hand on his shoulder to prevent him from moving. "I know," she said soothingly, as if he were a child who needing consoling, "but we must get your fever down. Trust me, remember? Just relax." Reluctantly he did so, reacting only slightly when additional compresses were placed under each arm.

Gradually the ice at his throat and brow seemed to melt, the cloth absorbing heat from his body, cooling him in the process. Just as his shivering began to abate, Megumi ordered the compresses replaced, jolting his body back into discomfort. The process was repeated a countless number of times, before finally the doctor was satisfied.

"Kaoru-chan, we're ready for that tea now," he heard her say, and then his head was lifted and a cup of something bitter and tepid raised to his lips. Obediently he drank the stuff down, grateful that the doctor's next words encouraged him to do nothing more than sleep. She covered him with a light blanket before leaving the room, ushering the others out with her.

* * *

"Ken-san's fever has dropped below the danger level... for now. The tea should help keep it from rising, but we'll need to take turns watching him." Megumi's voice was solemn as she explained the situation to Kaoru, Sano and Yahiko. "If his fever begins to rise, or doesn't start to drop on it's own soon, the compresses will need to be reapplied. The shock to his system has already been extensive, or I'd push to continue the treatment now. Unfortunately, I don't think his body could take it, exhausted as it is."

Megumi surveyed the three worried faces before her as they nodded in understanding. Her next instructions were going to be more difficult.

"Ken-san only agreed to let me treat him because of his trust in Kaoru-chan, the only one amongst us whom he recognized. The next time he wakes, he may not recognize anyone, nor be as docile. Keep that in mind. Remember to talk to him in a soft, calm voice; don't touch him unless he seems willing to allow it... and agree with him if he recognizes you as a friend, _even if he is mistaken in that recognition_."

For their own safety, as well as Kenshin's, they needed to keep him calm. Megumi remembered the amber glint in his eyes as he'd shaken off Sanosuke's grip... those had been the eyes of the hitokiri, not their rurouni. And the hitokiri had been born in suspicion, had learned to kill his enemies without regret or second thought. No, they couldn't afford to misjudge the situation again. She blinked, coming back to the present to find the other three still watching her, waiting for more bad news. Sanosuke and Yahiko were both pale, she noted, each still recovering from his own bout with illness.

"Sanosuke! Yahiko! Both of you, back to bed right now!" _That was rather abrupt_ , she thought, softening her voice before she continued. "Kaoru-chan and I will keep an eye on Ken-san for now. We'll call you if we need you."

* * *

"Da... dare?" His voice was dry and paper-thin. His head swam as he tried and failed to make out the figure kneeling beside him in the dark room.

"Shhh..." Her voice was calm, gentle. "Here, drink this." She slipped an arm under his head to lift him, bracing him as he drank first hesitantly, then deeply.

"Who are you?" he asked again, as she withdrew the cup and eased him back down to his pillow.

"My name is Megumi. Kaoru-chan sent for me. Do you remember Kaoru?" _He_ would _wake up right after Kaoru-chan left to check on Sano and Yahiko_ , Megumi thought.

"Kaoru..." he repeated, already starting to slip away into sleep again.

"Hai. You remember Kaoru. The pretty girl with blue eyes, who wears her hair tied back with a ribbon."

"No..." he sleepily disagreed, not because he didn't remember, but because the girl he saw in his mind's eye was beautiful, not merely pretty. Her eyes sparkled merrily as she said his name... _Kenshin_. A moment later her eyes changed from laughing blue to bottomless black, her hair tumbling from its ribbon to feather about her face. This new woman addressed him, too, but the name she called was not Kenshin. Confused, he protested a second time, raising his voice slightly.

"Shhh..." Megumi soothed again, uncertain what had upset him. She brushed the hair away from his face, noting as she did so that his temperature was beginning to rise. They would have to start applying the cold compresses again. _Better to wait until he's asleep_ , she thought. _The sleeping draught in the water should take effect soon._ "Sleep, Ken-san." She whispered to him. "Sleep, and dream about your little Kaoru-dono."

Kenshin struggled once more to open his eyes before sleep rose up to engulf him, his mind still protesting the memory of a woman with bottomless eyes who called him _husband_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (1) A stable form of salicylic acid, one of the base components to aspirin, wasn't discovered until 1860. It seems unlikely that it would have found widespread use in Japan by 1878, which is why Megumi isn't handing out little white pills.
> 
> (2) Dried chrysanthemum blossoms were used (and are still used) by both the Japanese and Chinese as a fever reducer.
> 
> (3)Temperatures in excess of 101 degrees are generally considered to be dangerous, and temperatures of 103 or higher are known to cause mental confusion, which can manifest itself in a variety of ways. Amazingly enough, if treated, there aren't any lasting affects. Temperatures in excess of 106 degrees apparently can, however, cause serious damage.


	3. Battousai Awakes

From time to time he'd awaken -- his body wracked with chills, his muscles aching -- to a dark room where strangers urged him to relax and to trust, and he pleaded brokenly to be left alone. Each time, gentle fingers stroked his hair, and a sweet voice promised relief from his torment, coaxing him to drink some sort of bitter liquid. Slowly sleep would rise up around him, rescuing him from the icy fire bathing his limbs.

His dreams were muddled, memories past and present commingling strangely. An adorable little girl threw herself into his arms, crowing happily that she had a present for _Ken-nii_... and handed him a black envelope, stirring a combined sense of dread and duty in him at the sight. One moment he stood in an alley, dark and reeking of terror, where a blood spattered woman watched him with black, startled eyes; the next he walked down a moon- and star-lit Tokyo street, where a different but no less beautiful woman challenged him, brandishing a bokken and calling him _Battousai_. He was the hitokiri, working in shadow; he was the wandering rurouni, armed only with a sakabatou, unwilling to kill for any reason.

He fought to make sense of the distorted memories, but the endeavor only seemed to twist them more, his worst fears placed on display in a disconcerting blend of reality and nightmare.

A dark eyed woman who held his happiness in the palm of her hand was snatched from him with a single, lightning stroke of the sword. The gaping wound of her passing was repaired only by the smile of a second woman, her eyes as bright as her smile... and then she, too, was snatched away. Caught in the grasp of a laughing butcher, she screamed his name desperately as the madman's sword ended her life... and he could do nothing more than watch, the ribbon she'd given him clenched tightly in his fist.

 _No. NO!_ He tried to protest, before another voice whispered to him, overriding his rejection of the images playing inside his mind. _Pathetic..._ it taunted him. _Pathetic. The Legendary Hitokiri Battousai, unable to protect his woman from worthless scum. Not just once, but twice._ Caught in a loop of guilt and horror, his mind constructed scenario after scenario in which she was stolen from him, the two women gradually blending into one. And each time, he either stood helpless to protect her, or dealt the deathblow himself.

* * *

Kaoru carried the basin of once tepid water to the kitchen, emptying the contents before fetching fresh from the well. She stretched slowly, longing for sleep but too worried to do so, even if she could allow herself the luxury. Megumi had left not long before, promising to return after her shift at the clinic. Until then, Kaoru would have to take care of Kenshin on her own.

 _Kenshin..._

They'd been combating the fever for a day and a night, and still there was no sign of it breaking. He'd awakened several times, distraught and confused, half-demanding and half-pleading that they leave him be. At her request, he would willingly drink the potion Megumi had prepared, though his drug induced slumber seemed no more restful than his waking state. In the grip of his dreams he thrashed and fought, crying out in anger and hurt as he confronted enemies both remembered and imagined.

As he seemed to sink deeper into the nightmares, Kaoru had been surprised to hear her name uttered several times -- now whispered longingly, now shouted in desperation. She was even more surprised to hear another name -- _Tomoe_ \-- spoken with almost the same frequency. Always, regardless of the name he called, the longing in his voice was accompanied by tears, the desperation by anger.

At first she'd tried to soothe him with her touch or her voice, answering when he called her name; and at first, it seemed to work. For a few moments he would relax, his fists and jaw unclench. But eventually he slipped past the point where her voice could comfort him. Responding instead as if she were calling for him, he would shout demands to know where she was, to have her returned to him. Her efforts to help serving only to make things worse, Kaoru'd been forced to simply watch as he struggled with the demons that haunted him.

Suddenly worried that Kenshin would awaken while she was gone, Kaoru picked up the refilled basin and turned to walk back to his room- and screamed loud and long, the basin slipping from her fingers to break as it struck the wooden floor, when she found Sanosuke standing right behind her.

"Sanosuke!" She yelled, once she'd calmed down enough to speak. "Don't _do_ that! Look what happened!" As she spoke, she knelt and began picking up the larger pieces, barely pausing for breath as she scolded him. "And what are you doing out of bed? Yahiko isn't running around, too, is he?" She rose to her feet again, glass fragments cradled in her hand. "You'll get worse if you don't take care of yourself! I don't think I can take it if you... if... you..." And suddenly she was crying -- over the basin, over Kenshin, out of worry.

"Jou-chan-" Sanosuke began, but got no further before she stopped him.

"He's not getting better, Sano... he's not getting better! He doesn't know who I am, he doesn't know who any of us are!" She gasped for breath, sobs shaking her entire body. "It's my fault, it's all my fault..."

"Wait a minute," Sano interrupted, cupping her face in his hands and trying to wipe away the tears, "How could it be your fault?"

"It is, it is!" She gulped, nodding her head miserably. "If I'd paid more attention, this wouldn't have happened. How could I have let it happen, Sanosuke? Ho-ow?"

"Jou-chan..." Sano put his arms around her, not sure what to say, but certain he needed to say something. "Jou-chan, it isn't your fault. You checked on him as often as you did me and Yahiko, didn't you?" She started to deny it, and he gave her a little shake. "It's no fair counting the times I made you check on me by playing the invalid. You checked on all of us more often than the Fox Lady instructed, didn't you?" Reluctantly she nodded against his chest. "What more could you have done? Knowing Kenshin, he probably tried to hide how sick he was... he never wants to upset anyone, ne?" Again she nodded reluctantly.

"I just... I just want him to get well," she said, her voice tight with tears and muffled against his chest.

"Aa. He will, Kaoru, he will." He heard a slight whimpering sound, as if she were trying to hold back the tears, now that she'd already opened the floodgates. "Go ahead and cry it out, Jou-chan," he coaxed her, and a moment later she did, burrowing her head even further into his chest, sobbing like her heart was broken.

* * *

His eyes snapped open as he heard her scream, the sound ripping through layers of fog, forcing him awake. Instinctively he knew it was _her_ voice, the voice of the woman he'd tried and failed to save a countless number of times in the realms of sleep. "Not this time," he growled, his voice hoarse and savage.

He staggered to his feet, wondering why the room kept swaying. _Something is wrong,_ the rational part of him whispered. "Shut up!" he told it, images of a beautiful woman -- his woman -- lying broken and bleeding flitting through his mind. Standing straight by sheer force of will, he looked around, knowing his daisho would never be far from him when he slept. Yes, there was the katana... but where was the wakizashi? Well, no matter... the katana would be enough.

Stealthily, he sped through the hallways, pain and confusion fading as adrenaline kicked in. He found them in the kitchen, a tall man standing with his arms around a sobbing woman, broken glass littering the floor around their feet.

 _He's made her cry. He'll pay for that... among other things._

* * *

 _"Take your hands off her... if you wish to keep them."_ The voice was low, feral with anger, shocking in it's intensity. Startled, Kaoru raised her tear streaked face from Sanosuke's chest and turned to find Battousai in the doorway, sword in hand, hair wild about his bare shoulders...

...and absolute, unreasoning hatred in the amber eyes he held fixed on Sanosuke.


	4. Exorcising the Demon

_"Take your hands off her... if you wish to keep them."_ Kenshin bit the words out, the sight of the sobbing woman in the other man's arms angering him on many levels. Anger that she'd been frightened, anger that she was crying... anger that another had dared to touch her.

The pair startled at the sound of his voice, the woman turning a tear-streaked face to him. She whispered his name questioningly, her voice still shuddering with sobs. Fury and renewed pain throbbed through his head at the sound, his vision flashing momentarily white in response, his balance turning unsteady. He closed his eyes, fighting to remain in control. When he opened them again, he found the other man had not moved.

"Perhaps you didn't understand," as he spoke he thumbed his sword partially out of its sheath. "Remove your hands from her. _Now_."

* * *

Sano had never heard Kenshin's voice run so cold, nor carry so much venom. But then, the man standing in the kitchen doorway bore little resemblance to the rurouni Sano knew. This was Battousai... radiating anger in icy waves, the menace contained in his slight form even more palpable than during his fight with Saitoh. _Che_ , Sano thought, _I don't know what's going through his head, but I don't think it's anything I'm going to like._ He certainly didn't like the way Kenshin's eyes flashed at the fright in Jou-chan's voice, or the way that amber gaze fixed on Sano as the source of her fear.

Slowly, so as not to alarm Kenshin, Sano released Kaoru and backed away from her. "I don't know what's wrong, Kenshin...-san," he began, adding the honorific when Kenshin's eyes narrowed at the familiar use of his name, "I just startled her a little when I came in here."

Ignoring the explanation, Kenshin moved to where Kaoru still stood frozen in shock. He reached gentle fingers to wipe away the last of her tears before speaking, his voice both soft and warm as he asked if she was all right.

She blinked at the strange contrast, his voice now sweet as honey where a moment before it had been savage; the fingers brushing her tears away so tender, while in his other hand he still held the sakaba partially unsheathed. Confused, unable to reconcile the conflicting actions, she looked down at her hands. "Ha... Hai. Daijoubu. Sanosuke didn't do anything..."

 _Jou-chan, he's not listening,_ Sano thought, watching Kenshin as Kaoru repeated the same explanation he himself had offered a moment before. Battousai watched Sano in turn, his fever bright eyes showing no trace of recognition.

Sano swallowed nervously. Through the thin wall separating their rooms, he'd heard Kenshin cry out in his sleep countless times. As frequently as he'd screamed Kaoru's name, it was easy to guess what kind of nightmares had plagued the rurouni. Now that he was awake, Kenshin seemed to think he was replaying one of those nightmare scenarios... and was determined to change the ending. If Sano couldn't talk him out of it, he was going to end up smeared across the floor - despite the fact that Kenshin was clearly struggling to remain standing. As his fight with Shishio had shown, the most daunting thing about Kenshin was his determination. If he decided to attack, his illness wouldn't be allowed to deter him.

* * *

Battousai noted Sano's nervousness with satisfaction. "This woman is under my protection." His calm, flat statement instantly halted her explanation, and increased the other's uneasiness. His thumb stroked across Kaoru's cheek once more before he turned his full attention to Sano. "For touching her, for frightening her..." as he spoke, he paced slowly across the room until he stood little more than a sword's length away, "...you will answer to me." This last was punctuated by the steely rasp of his sword sliding home in its sheath. "Come."

"Kenshin..." Sano protested, as calmly as he was able, "there's no need for this. You know I'd never hurt Kaoru, she's like a sister to me!"

"Of course Sano didn't hurt me," Kaoru agreed. "I just overreacted to a little scare." She took a step toward them. "Kenshin, please, let me help you back to bed..."

On some level Kenshin heard and understood what they were saying. The name _Sano_ struck a familiar cord, but his memories were confusing. He'd fought this man before... more than once. Once could be a misunderstanding... but twice? Why? Obligingly his fever-ravaged mind supplied a reason, focusing on the crystal clear memory of her voice screaming his name: This man had been warned away before.

"Stop!" The word was a command, directed at Kaoru, warning her to stay back. Battousai shook the hair out of his eyes, their feral glow revealing the anger still burning within him. "Come." The word was an invitation to fight, directed at Sanosuke, issued with the same note of command.

Sano remained where he was, searching frantically for some way to appease the demon the fever had awakened in his friend. "Kenshin... I don't want to fight you. I haven't... I wouldn't... hurt Kaoru. Even if I wanted to, I'd have to be stupid to try. We both know how easily you can beat me." The blunt truthfulness of his own words hurt... but not as badly as Kenshin's lack of recognition. And not as badly as he'd hurt if Battousai insisted on this fight.

Battousai hesitated again at this new argument. His own memory agreed with the other man's assessment... he _had_ defeated this... _Sano_... twice before. Other memories surfaced slowly... _Sano, I need you to do something for me..._ he'd entrusted something infinitely precious to this man's keeping. Without hesitation. It didn't make sense. He shook his head as if to rid himself of the conflicting memories, and looked again at the dark-haired man. For an instant, he recognized the other as both friend and partner. But when he blinked, the friend was replaced by a man with narrow eyes, who laughingly offered to slit the woman while Kenshin watched.

"NO!" he snarled as Sanosuke, thinking Kenshin had come to his senses, took a step forward. The sakaba snapped from its sheath, striking Sano full across the chest. Knocked backwards and off balance, he fell to the floor, screaming soundlessly as the breath was forced from his body.

Battousai looked at his katana with some surprise. A large welt ran across the other man's chest, but there was no cut, no blood. _The sharp and flat edges are reversed,_ he thought. _Why?_ Blood, regret, his own voice promising never to kill again... images flashed dizzyingly through his mind. He shook his head sharply, denying them all. "Get up!" he ordered the man gasping for air on the floor in front of him. _It doesn't matter if the blade is reversed,_ he told himself, _that'll make things a little more even. The flat of my blade against his fists._

Sano climbed painfully to his feet. Over the pounding of his heart, he could hear Kaoru pleading futilely with Kenshin to stop. Battousai wasn't willing to listen to reason, and wasn't going to hold back the way Kenshin had in their previous fights. Kenshin had been fighting simply to stop Sano. Battousai, however, was fighting to protect Kaoru. _No, it's more primitive than that,_ Sano thought. _He's fighting to protect his woman, his mate... his other half. Kuso... If I'm_ lucky _, he'll be satisfied with beating me to a pulp._ He didn't want to think about what it would be like to be _unlucky_. Still, for a moment, there'd been a flicker of recognition in Kenshin's eyes... maybe if he kept trying, he could break through. "Kenshin," he began...

...and in response, Battousai leapt into motion.

Sano ducked under as the sakaba came toward his head, only the slight hesitation in the swing - a side effect of the other's lingering dizziness - allowing him to escape. Compensating immediately, Battousai altered his attack, striking Sano in the back with his elbow. His own efforts to escape the initial swing of the sword combined with the force of the blow to send Sano tumbling to the floor. Allowing the momentum to take him, he rolled a few paces away before rising to his feet again.

"Kenshin, _listen_ to me!"

The only answer was a rush of movement. Sano's added height working to his opponent's advantage, the sakaba came up to deliver the Ryu-Sho-Sen. Thankful Battousai's battle cry warned him what to expect, Sano fell back as the other struck, narrowly avoiding having his jaw dislocated. His throat and head exploded in agony as he was raked by the sakaba's dull edge, battered by the strength behind it.

Battousai flipped in midair, gracefully landing on his feet. He looked on impassively as Sano half fell, half leaned against the kitchen wall, struggling to recover. His own breathing seemed strangely heavy, his muscles tired and slow.

"Kenshin..." his ears still ringing, his balance still off, Sano tried once again to reason with his friend. "Kenshin, listen to me. No one has hurt Kaoru. But you're hurting and frightening her now."

Instantly, he knew it had been the wrong thing to say.

Battousai's mind latched onto the words and refused to let go, twisting them to fit the pattern of his dreams. _Your fault, your fault._ A woman dying because he'd been too slow to stop his strike; a laughing maniac suffocating another because he wasn't what the madman expected; a wolf threatening his family, because he was weak. _Your fault, your fault._ Now she was hurting, because he'd failed again... he hadn't been there to protect her from this man.

"Kisama..." Sano heard the low, angry whisper, and then Battousai disappeared. A moment later the sakaba smashed into his shoulder from above, knocking him down, back, and partially through the wall. Using Sano's shoulder and the wall to gain momentum, Battousai sprang backwards, landing several feet away. "Stand-up," he grated out, flipping the sakaba over, "it's time to finish this."

* * *

Kaoru watched, horrified, as Battousai attacked the man Kenshin treated as brother, as friend. She shouted at him to stop - now pleading, now ordering - and just as he had during his fight with Saitoh, he ignored her, seeming not to hear her voice.

 _But this time, there's more at stake._ It wouldn't be Kenshin alone that was lost. If she couldn't break through, Sanosuke might very well die. Battousai's eyes promised it as he struck Sanosuke with the full force of the Ryu-Tsui-Sen, shattering the wall behind him. Now he waited for Sanosuke to crawl out of the rubble, struggle to his feet... so he could deliver the final blow.

 _Yamete,_ she silently pleaded.

Sano turned a bleak gaze to meet hers. His shoulder was held at an odd angle, dislocated, possibly broken. Unwilling at first to fight his friend, now he was in poor shape to do so... and Battousai was still out for blood.

 _Onegai... yamete._

Standing as tall as he could manage, Sano signaled his readiness.

 _Yameteeee-!_

With a shout Battousai charged forward, hand on the hilt of the sakaba. He tensed, drawing the sword from the sheath in a lighting fast movement... and suddenly she was there between them, arms outstretched, screaming for him to stop.

Kaoru's eyes widened as she saw the horrified realization in Kenshin's own, his rush still carrying him toward her. She closed hers, afraid to watch what was happening. Scant seconds later she felt his arms close around her as her ears registered a faint metallic clatter, and then they were tumbling, sliding across the floor, coming sharply to rest against the far wall.

For a moment, everything seemed to stop, only the harsh sound of Kenshin's breathing breaking the silence. Kaoru raised her head, finding herself cradled protectively against him, his body having shielded hers as they rolled across the floor. His arms tightened when she moved, his entire body trembling. His face was buried in her hair, hidden behind the curtain of his, but she felt something warm and moist slide down her neck. "Kenshin?"

 _So close_ , he thought, holding her against him, afraid to let go. _I couldn't bear that again... not again._ Unbidden, tears welled up, slipping from his eyes to the smooth skin of her neck. "Kenshin?" Her voice, questioning and worried. _Over you..._ his rational _other_ , the rurouni, whispered to him. _You shouldn't make her worry._ He shook his head slightly, not yet willing to allow the intrusion.

Kaoru felt the slight movement, and whispered his name a second time. His arms tightened again in answer. _Wait,_ he seemed to say. _Not yet._ She relaxed against him, breathing a quiet sigh of relief. _It's over._ She turned her head, raising her eyes to meet Sanosuke's. In silent agreement he left the room.

 _Kenshin... Battousai... neither one will hurt her,_ he thought, _but the scare seems to have knocked some sense into him._ Too shaken to do more than cling to Kaoru, Battousai seemed to have forgotten Sano, the fight, and the imagined reasons for it. Sano wasn't going to complain about that, but he wasn't going to stick around as a reminder, either. He winced as he walked down the hall, swallowing heavily against nausea stirred by the pain in his shoulder. His whole body hurt... he needed someone to fuss over him. Yahiko, brat that he was, must have slept through the whole thing. _Well, he's about to wake up,_ Sano thought with some satisfaction. _Megumi needs to get over here to check on Kenshin. And me._ He fought off another wave of nausea. _Mostly me._ Sliding the door to Yahiko's room open with his foot, he bellowed the boy's name, enjoying the shocked expression that appeared on his face, and the way he scampered to fetch the doctor.

* * *

"I'm sorry," he whispered into her neck. "After I promised to protect you, to protect your happiness... I wasn't here. And then I... I almost..." his voice broke and he swallowed. "Gomen nasai." The words seemed so inept. He felt her shift against him, and immediately worried she would pull away. Instead, her arms wrapped around one of his, hugging it to her. He smiled a little then... his hold on her so tight that she could barely move, his arm the only part she could reach.

Kaoru wasn't sure who was holding her... the speech patterns were Battousai's, but the attitude was more like Kenshin. Whoever it was, he needed reassurance; the dreams, the fight, what he'd almost done, all shaking him to the core. At his whispered apology, she shook her head, uttering a soft sound of negation. "You don't need to be sorry. It's all right. I'm all right." She tightened the arms she'd wrapped around his, giving it a little squeeze. "See?"

He couldn't help but laugh at that, finally raising his head to look at her. Kaoru gasped slightly at the sight of Battousai's eyes glowing soft and amber above Kenshin's normal, sweet smile. _They're not so different, after all,_ she thought. She smiled back at him, reaching up to gently brush his hair away from his face, noting his temperature as she did so. It still seemed high, though perhaps not as high as before... regardless, she needed to get him back to bed.

As her hand stroked across his face he closed his eyes, dipping his chin to place a light kiss in her palm, relief washing headily through him. His arms loosened their death grip on her as he relaxed, and she slipped off his lap, standing up.

Looking down at him she bit her lip, not certain how to persuade him that he should be in bed recuperating. His behavior seemed to indicate he felt fine. Mild annoyance surged through her at the thought. _Poor Sanosuke._

"Nani?" he asked, rising to stand beside her.

She opened her mouth to speak, and then stopped. Tried once more with the same results. _She's adorable,_ he thought, and sensed the rurouni's heartfelt agreement. He waited, and finally she simply blurted "You're sick!" as if he should know it, and not need her to explain.

"Oro?" As close as the two personalities were at that moment, the word just slipped out, the amber eyes widening a little in surprise. She smiled hopefully at him at the sound, before taking his hand to coax him back toward his room. Closing his eyes, allowing himself to be led, he slowly relinquished control. She was safe, she was happy. He could rest. Weariness rose to claim him, his anger long gone and the last of his fear slipping away at the feel of her fingers clinging warmly to his.

By the time they reached his room, the dizziness and headache had returned, his limbs feeling vaguely disconnected. She helped him to his futon, her fussing as she tucked him in bringing a small smile to his lips. She laughed in turn when he made a face at the bitter taste of Megumi's potion, although he drank it down. As drugged sleep rose to claim him, she turned to leave the room, the need to care for Sanosuke reasserting its own urgency now that Kenshin... Battousai... had been calmed. His voice stopped her.

"Wait..." she turned to find Kenshin's violet eyes watching her from beneath drowsy lids, making her wonder when the other had left. "Oyasumi nasai..." he whispered, barely awake.

She smiled back at him. "Oyasumi, Kenshin."

The door slid quietly closed behind her, drowning his words as he finished his half completed sentence, "...Kaoru-dono."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (1)The title of this chapter is intended to have a double meaning. First, it refers to Kenshin once again gaining control of Battousai; the "demon" being exorcised is Battousai. Second, it refers to the cessation of Kenshin's nightmares; the "demon" exorcised in this case being Kenshin's fear of losing Kaoru, of his personal history somehow repeating itself.
> 
> (2)Yes, Kenshin is remembering something that actually happened when he recalls Kaoru screaming during his fight with Sano. Of course, he's wrong about the reason _why_ she screamed...


	5. Dreams

Sano's hoarse shout sounded just as Kaoru reached the door to Yahiko's room. She entered to find him rubbing his shoulder and cursing at Megumi.

"Chikusho! What are you trying to do to me, Fox Lady! Che, that hurt!"

"Really?" Megumi's voice was dry. "It feels better now, doesn't it?"

Sano gave her a disgusted look, too stubborn to admit she was right. The pain had almost subsided, and the nausea was fading.

"Megumi-san," Kaoru said, interrupting the tense silence before they could begin another round of name-calling, "is Sanosuke all right?"

"Yes. He's got some scrapes and bruises, but he'll be fine." For a moment Megumi's eyes softened as she looked at the disgruntled Sanosuke. "He's lucky. His shoulder was dislocated rather than broken." She turned again to Kaoru. "He said Ken-san did this?"

Kaoru nodded. Slowly she and Sanosuke related what had happened. "I managed to get him to go back to bed after Sanosuke left. He's sleeping again now." Kaoru hesitated a moment, then continued, "He seemed to be _Kenshin_ again, demo, I still don't think he really recognized me." _He couldn't remember my name when he told me goodnight, she thought._ "Onegai, could you check on him?"

"Of course, that's why I'm here. Or it would be if only this fool could stay out of trouble." Megumi whapped Sano lightly on the head as she spoke.

"Hey! It's not my fault! I didn't do anything!"

"Hai, hai," she responded, already on her way out of the room, her tone clearly indicating she was just humoring him.

"Hey!" Sano turned to Yahiko. "It _wasn't_ my fault!" Yahiko simply shrugged in response. "Che... Kenshin no baka!"

* * *

Kenshin slept, and sleeping dreamt. Finding and replaying his fondest memories and quiet hopes, his subconscious delighted in the image of a beautiful girl, her hair dark as midnight, her blue eyes sparkling with joy. Images comprised of sunlight and laugher, moonshine and quiet moments flitted through his mind.

* * *

"His fever's broken." Megumi's voice was relieved. "It's going to be all right now, Kaoru-chan." To her surprise, Kaoru's arms came around her, hugging her as she stuttered relieved thanks. Megumi hugged Kaoru in turn when she felt the tears that accompanied the girl's relief. "Shhhhh. It's all right," she repeated.

Once Kaoru had calmed down, Megumi ordered her to take a bath and get some rest. "I'll take care of Yahiko-kun, Ken-san and the rooster head." At first Kaoru protested, but then Megumi unfairly - to Kaoru's way of thinking - pointed out that Kenshin would be upset if he found out she'd exhausted herself taking care of him. Looking reproachfully at the doctor one last time, she left the room.

Megumi turned back to Kenshin, reaching out to gently adjust his covers. He stirred slightly, mumbling Kaoru's name, his heavy eyelids fluttering. Soothingly, as she'd done once before, she whispered to him to sleep and dream of Kaoru. Unlike before, he smiled in response, at ease with whatever visions his memory and imagination chose to display, the demons that had disturbed his sleep before now gone. She wondered if Battousai's fight with Sano had anything to do with that. It was almost as if the fever had abated simply because the nightmares had stopped, rather than the other way around.

* * *

 _"Kenshin!" her sweet voice called his name, and she tugged gently at his sleeve, attempting to hurry him along. "Hurry up! We're going to miss it!"_

 _"Kaoru-dono, we still have plenty of time," he laughed, lagging behind on purpose, teasing her._

 _"Mou! Kenshiiin!" She pouted a little, tugging harder although her eyes laughed with him. A moment later those eyes widened in surprise as the thin material of his sleeve tore, sending her stumbling backwards to land on the hillside with a soft thump. She looked woefully at the scrap of material she held in her hand, and then up at him, stuttering an embarrassed apology._

 _"Ororo?" He said, exclaiming his own surprise, and then convulsed with laughter when she blushed and offered him his missing sleeve. "Yare yare..."_

* * *

In the morning, Megumi examined both Yahiko and Sanosuke. Although his cold was gone, Sanosuke was granted another day of rest due to his battered and bruised body. He was grateful, since he suspected Kaoru would make repairing the kitchen wall his first order of business once Megumi decided he'd recovered.

Yahiko, on the other hand, was pronounced ready to be up and about. He protested a little, knowing that "up and about" probably meant "cleaning the dojo", but the young doctor didn't fall for his antics. Kaoru was informed that her youngest patient had recovered, and soon the rhythmic pounding of footfalls could be heard as he raced up and down the wooden floors, dust cloth in hand.

* * *

 _He watched as Kaoru and Yahiko practiced, noting that the boy was improving. Kaoru remarked on it as well, and basking in their praise Yahiko turned cocky. Kenshin mentally shook his head, knowing the cockiness would earn the boy a turn or two cleaning the floors. Sure enough, Yahiko soon spouted off a little too much, his comments liberally laced with words like "hag", "old" and "ugly"._

Whack! _Kaoru's bokken struck Yahiko on the top of his head. "Yahiko!" her voice lashed out, laden with anger. Almost before Kenshin had time to blink, Yahiko was busy running back and forth, polishing the already spotless dojo floor._

 _"Mou!" With a_ thunk _, Kaoru collapsed on the floor next to him, flopping back to lie looking up at the ceiling. Surveying her quietly, Kenshin replaced Yahiko's description with his own: Sweet, spirited, beautiful._

* * *

Kaoru stood in the open doorway to Kenshin's room, needing the sight of his peacefully sleeping form to reassure her that all was well. Megumi had said there was nothing left to worry about... but somehow, she couldn't stop herself. She wanted to hear him say her name, see his eyes light with recognition.

She sighed, continuing down the hall to her room, knowing he would wake only when his body and mind were ready.

 _Soon,_ she thought. _Let it be soon._

* * *

 _He paused to close the dojo gate, the laughter of the others carrying to him as they made their soggy way inside. They'd gone to the Akabeko for dinner, and been caught in the rain on the way back. Now that they were home again, the rain had lessened to a gentle patter instead of the steady deluge they'd run through to get to the dojo. Of course. Yare yare..._

 _He turned to find Kaoru still standing in the yard, watching him lock up for the night. Her wet kimono clung to her in interesting ways..._ Better not to think about that, _he told himself. "Kaoru-dono, you should change before you catch cold. Would you like me to get a bath ready?"_

 _She smiled at him, at his thoughtfulness. "No, I'm fine." Her voice was soft, barely audible. "I'll change in a minute." As she spoke, she tilted her head back, letting the rain dance lightly over her face, smiling at the tickling sensation._

 _He found himself smiling with her, then felt the smile dissolve as the storm picked up again, the previously gentle rain falling with battering force, the wind pushing at him where he stood._

* * *

Kaoru bit her lip nervously as she knelt beside Kenshin's futon. Worried that he still hadn't awakened on his own, she'd sent Yahiko to fetch Megumi. The boy had returned without the doctor, but with instructions for Kaoru to wake him herself.

"It won't hurt him. It's been three days... he needs to eat something," was the message Yahiko relayed.

Nevertheless, now that she'd been given permission to wake him, Kaoru was a little afraid to do so. _What if he still doesn't remember who he is... who I am?_ Hesitantly she shook him, pushing gently at his shoulders. When that had no affect, she shook harder, her hesitation gradually fading as she began to get annoyed at his lack of response. _Kenshin no baka! Cooperate, why don't you?_ she thought. Leaning forward she took hold of his shoulders and shook him as hard as she could, simultaneously calling his name. _Finally!_ she thought with satisfaction as his eyes snapped open in response.

He blinked at her a moment, confused by the abrupt transition from dreams to reality. She waited, hoping, and then he smiled at her. "Ohayou, Kaoru-dono," he said, his voice rasping in his dry throat.

"No..." Kaoru gently shook her head. "Good afternoon you mean."

"Oro?" The violet eyes were shocked.

"Mmm." She nodded. "You've been asleep for quite awhile." She felt the tears welling up in her eyes and blinked them away in annoyance. There was nothing to cry about. Megumi had been right... everything would be fine now. "Almost three days, to be exact," she told him.

Kenshin noticed the tears and her dismissal of them, but his mind focused on her words. The violet eyes widened. _Three days?_

She nodded at the unspoken question. "You came down with a fever. Megumi-san gave you something to make you more comfortable, and to keep you calm until it passed." _Well, it's not that far from the truth..._ and she certainly couldn't tell him _that_. He'd feel guilty, and then worry that something similar might happen again, even though none of it - not the delusion, not Battousai's anger - had been his fault. She made a mental note to make sure Sanosuke fixed the wall in the kitchen before the day was through. Otherwise Kenshin was bound to ask questions.

Kenshin frowned, sensing there was something she wasn't telling him. The last thing he remembered was doing the laundry...

"Are you hungry?" Her voice was hopeful, as if this was some sort of test.

"Hai, de gozaru," he responded, slowly sitting up. She smiled brightly, and he decided he must have passed. _Something happened while I was asleep._ She'd been anxious as she spoke to him, watching him as if expecting to find someone else in his place. Slowly the tension seemed to be draining from her, replaced by an abundance of relief. _Yes, something happened. But will she tell me what?_

"Kenshin." He stirred from his contemplation to find her offering him his lunch.

"Thank you, Kaoru-dono." He paused, trying to decide if he should ask her for the details of the last three days. Her blue eyes begged him to leave it alone. Sighing, he let it drop, and turned his attention to his meal.

Eating proved an effort, his system still recovering, his body still tired. When he finally finished, exhaustion reasserted itself with a vengeance. He fought it as Kaoru cleared away the dishes, certain there was something he needed to tell her, but unable to remember what. She returned from the kitchen and tucked him back into bed, her fussing making him smile. There was something vaguely familiar about that, though he couldn't think what.

"Wait..." he whispered as she smoothed the covers one last time, and made as if to rise and leave. "Wait." Obligingly she settled beside him again, waiting for him to gather his fuzzy thoughts. _What was it I wanted to tell her?_ he asked himself. He raised heavy lids, turning his head to meet her gaze, the worry beginning to gather there finally answering his question.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, reaching a hand out to touch her cheek. "For making you worry... I'm sorry."

Kaoru closed her eyes, remorse washing through her, uncertain how to erase this concern she'd unwittingly impressed upon him. "Daijoubu," she whispered in return, "you don't need to be sorry. Everything is fine. I promise." She smiled a little then, taking his hand in her own and squeezing it once, reassuringly. She opened her eyes to find he'd already slipped away into sleep again. "Oyasumi, Kenshin," she whispered. He smiled sleepily in response, her voice, if not her words, finding him in the midst of his dreams.

* * *

Kenshin slept, and sleeping dreamt.

 _By the riverbank, between the spreading roots of a sheltering tree, he sat with Kaoru cuddled against him. Worries, fears, painful memories... all were washed away by the warmth of the small smile playing across her lips, echoing the one he felt spreading across his own._ _He dipped his head, resting his cheek against the silk of her hair, more than content just to be in her presence._

Kenshin slept...


End file.
